VASYARUN            COMMUNITY-BASSED
from diaries  (RU)

"THE MIND IS HYPNOTIC. LOST IN OUR OWN IDEAS. BREATH-IN - I. BREATH-OUT - AM."

"THIS WAS EVERYWHERE, THE SEARCH HAS BEEN SUSTAINABLE. TRADE CENTERS, SUBWAY TRANSITIONS, CLUBS, STATIONS, SUBURBS. IF WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE SUBCULTURE, EVERYBODY IS READY TO SUPPORT OUR HISTORY. IF YOU BEGIN TO TALK ABOUT EXPERIMENTS, IT INTIMIDATES. THERE IS A FEAR OF LOSING ONESELF. WHO CAN OVERCAME THIS FEAR?"

"IF YOU IMPROVISE, BE AWARE OF THE LIMITATIONS OF 'SO CALLED' FREEDOM. YOU CAN NOT ACT SPONTANESELY, YOU BRING YOUR OWN BAGGAGE."

"FORGET THE PAST - SEE FORWARD. THEY CAN NOT CONFINE EVERYONE. WHERE IS THE PROPHET? WHO IS THE PROPHET? THE SUBURBS WILL NOT BE EXTINGUISHED."

"SOMETHING IN US MAKES ITS WAY THROUGH SITUATIONS TO THE FLOW OF THE TIME, TO THE REAL. AN IMPORTANT GOAL OF OUR WORK IS SYNCHRONICITY WITH THE REALITY, STAYING IN THE FLOW. PERFORMANCE IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO COMPARE WITH THE TIME."  

"I STILL DO NOT KNOW WHY THIS IS NEEDED? I DO NOT KNOW WHY I AM COMING, BUT I CANNOT COME ANYMORE."

"I REMEMBER WHEN THEY TOOK ME OUT OF THE ENTRANCE IN HANDCUFFS. I SAT IN THE DEPARTMENT AND THOUGHT: THEY WALK AROUND, THEY CARRY PAPERS, AND I FEEL WHOLE IN THIS CHAOS."

"I WANT TO CHOOSE A PATH WITHOUT FEAR, WAKE UP, BECOME FREE, STOP BEING AFRAID OF NOT HAVING TIME TO DO SOMETHING . TO GO OUT TO ENTER, TO RELEASE MY BOUNDLESS POWER,ME. I AM WHAT I DO TO MYSELF, NOT WHAT HAPPENS TO ME. THE WHOLE WORLD IS CHASING THE GENERALLY IMPOSED, EVERYONE IS TRYING TO CHANGE THE WORLD AROUND, BUT NOT IN THEMSELVES, AFRAID TO SAY THAT THEY HAVE NOT GROWN UP TO SOMETHING TO UNDERSTAND. I TAKE EXPERIENCE, TAKING BLOWS WITH MY OWN PERSONALITY, EXPERIENCING, LIVING."

"I WAS SKATEBOARDING, I WAS SO COOL UNTIL I WAS 16, EVERYONE WAS TALKING ABOUT ME. BUT SUDDENLY THERE WAS A FEAR, EVERYTHING COLLAPSED, I WAS AFRAID EITHER TO DISGRACE MYSELF OR NIT TO DO A TRICK. NOW I UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS JUST A THOUGHT IN MY MIND. HOW DID I LIVE BEFORE WITHOUT THIS AWARENESS AT ALLl? I ALWAYS TRACK MY WAY AND NOW I JUST REALIZED WHAT LED ME HERE. I HAVE BEEN IN THIS STATE FOR A YEAR, LOOKING FOR SOMETHING. AND IT SEEMS THAT THIS IS WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR."

"I FEEL LIKE I AM IN ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS CLUB. IY IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO COMMUNICATE. I AM VERY RESERVED. OUR MEETINGS ARE A BIG STEP FOR ME. I AM ALREADY COMMUNICATING OPENLY WITH YOU, FREELY. THIS IS ALL WORK ON OURSELVES, IN THE PROCESS OF WHICH WE ALSO REHEARSE."

"NOW I AM WORKING ON MY FURURE. THIS IS A SPROUT THAT WILL BE REFLECTED LATER."

"I COME TO THE REHEARSAL FOR THESE TWO OR THREE HOURS TO COMPLETELY DISCONNECT. I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ALL THE TIME, BUT REHEARSALS ALLOW ME TO SWITCH COMPLETELY BECAUSE I AM IMMERSED. I FEEL SAFE AND DO NOT NOTICE HOW TIME PASSES."

"I AM TRYING TO PUT INTO PRACTICE WHAT WE ARE DOING. I LIKE TO LOOK INTO EVERYONE’S EYES WHEN I AM ON THE SUBWAY. NOW I THINK I AM HERE."